THedonist Cacophony

Clouds shroud and Cycles crowd like a halo above me, needing constant attention like a child with a brand shiny toy, but then again its all above my head. I cant bare the trivial-but-of-importance race of thoughts i've been fed with all my life, I Need More! (To be blunt) Don't even think of selfishness you hypocrite! This ain't no justification just the evident fact.

Consumed by the stagnant heaviness of the room i decide to shove open the drapes to get a glimpse of something that's outside! Something will inspire me soon i think reassured as i search as nothing has happened that has. I'm wrong. It has, just that it wont, sorry, hasn't lasted. 'The Muse' i think,
And then I see it, "It" makes the moment feel like a nostalgic dream. It is The Only Thing that has always been. Nothing.
The spinach tree with the bee hive, The spot black Swift car of my neighbour, The lane kids playing football, The vegetable peddler and All of "The's" have always reminded themselves to me but that is exactly "It"! This Something which is a part of The Everything which obviously can be An Anything being already known blooms Nothing. There It is again, the symphony of Clouds and Cycles!

Thus resorting to thrills, which is a silent and sought after hobby, is what anybody does. Different Thrills but the Same Aim. Exotic anything served with a sprinkle of drive quenchers is the soul of the masses. I am not afraid to admit this. It needn't be materialistic necessarily, Something that makes you look to morrow and life with gleeful gratitude is the crave. Love for some and forms of sexual expression for others, The example for something that is sylphic and blissfully manic, the former being more true to this statement than the latter which is your pick of ripe fruit buddy. Respectively.

I wash my face thoroughly with my eyes tight shut for a brief moment so i can picture someone else, i stay there in suspended animation and suddenly break the moment by opening my eyes! I see me, no one else.

You've felt the restlessness haven't you? The sickening feeling of worthlessness for at the exact same moment your nothing! Why? Cause you know what you are, there isn't anything more to you, so you search for The Wholesomeness, Completion, The Universe Outside!