eie

The Eye looks at you but reflects upon some else. So sorry if the beholder doesn't respond in the appropriate manner, your image doesn't appear at face value so the response is clear, not to yell Your Banner. The stimulI i choose not to be, so when will you hush your lips in understanding glee and truly see? Hey there I said it again its just Me.

Feeling

Doesn't everyone like feeling miserable from time to time? It makes you kinda grateful for being Alive! The emotion is unique on the soul street called Life; You know, one of those movie scenes where the persons lying casual in the rain cuz one has to contemplate from a different sometimes want-based and insatiable perspective or maybe something that has to pass. next scene is a pleasant sunrise with birds chirping the song of life while the clouds map the notes and the pulling sweet warm of the sun consumes you. Your suddenly complete again, temporarily at least.

The Dirt Bike Revelation of Love to Misery

Where does the race start? The Performance at S.I.T (A Land Far Far Away) was miserable but the Musician Posse managed to make the simple crowd morph manic.
The worthless wait for the results of a fecal sound system, though the crowd lifted our band ethos, was nonetheless worthless. So worthless that i had wasted what everyone had always said, though i was never much of a listener for the conforms of the prosaic society, was priceless; Time.

Time is so priceless in fact that if i could have a bag full of it I could have met Julius Caesar, Jesus Christ, Adolf Hitler, Jimmy Hendrix and many other pioneer Rock stars who the Sun had cast a light upon and could view with such radiant perceptibility. What a power house of a crowd the sun would be, just a sole entity which knew every personality that existed, exists and will. What a band manager it would make!

Where does the race start again? Don't i have a bus to catch to Guruvayur at 8:15 p.m?

At 7:05 p.m we leave in a hurry-spasm, frustrated and still worried. After the car drop at Far Away by my bands guitarist I had to catch an auto rickshaw to go Away. Away is in fact the Furthest Away and I needed to reflect and forget what love or these sticky connections were, a hypothetical weak thread of a web spun by ethereal yet dangerous creatures.

I reached the Bus Stop at Far Away exactly 10 seconds before the moving air-conditioned Palanquin drove Away, i grabbed my bag from my father and jumped on. A 5 second stop anywhere for the pettiest of lame issues on the path would've killed my Trip for Voluntary Societal Exile (Clarity) and the Process of Evolution(Mental and Emotional Growth), so that once again i would convince myself I was but a Neanderthal before this. This way I slide through Time immersed in a Thought which would become the Proof of the Cause.

A Tedious night of sleeplessness in the Bus and a late arrival at Guruvayur made it all the more worth it. I could feel the strings beginning to slim down. I was miserable no doubt but my misery must mean something soon enough.

The honest truth? We all love to feel miserable, its a feeling that caresses the psyche in its strange and engulfing ways. But how many nights of honey coated dreams which would haunt me in such absorbing(for consecutive hours) and vicious ways? The flawless beauty of the dream just made it a Nightmare.

After I met my friend who stayed at Away i continued to face the day in wait of this absolution or revelation i have tried but haven't had anywhere.
We drove to a ground somewhere in the branching maze of the narrow streets and something new awaited to inspire me.

Dirt Bike racing is the sought after, prestigious and exclusive sport for the lower - middle class masses of this sacred and wild piece of God's own country. The Adrenaline Was Me as i saw and screamed my misery out while leaning over the plastic tape track side-railing, at the biker scrapping and scattering dirt, as furious encouragement while it rained. The utter mess of the surrounding situation triggered an empathy with the Slush in my brain and the Misery was Dying Slowly as were my Past Bonds. When the misery of my love surmounted the love not reciprocated then the helpless lost hatred bred, but wait, I released all of my emotions till I couldn't speak a word as my Throat should give and gave Every Single Bit of its Life and Capacity to Feel as well as the Hearts! I spat everything out. Then why does it still hurt?

My Biker friend placed Second in his race(G.G) and for some sublime reasons i believe i was never even in the running for mine as mine couldn't care enough about the steps my feet took as too many feet marched and clouded mine, or worse I was misleading myself all along. How will i ever be complete if i don't finish? Am i even running on the right path? How can I ask without a voice? Though I am sure I ran a lost cause into some vague revelatory understanding why does it still hurt so sickeningly heart?

Ocean Of Love

A gentle breeze blows in my direction calling me;
On my knees, there's a fearful notion of this beast.

I wont give into this consuming sound.
This must be that Dark Abyss where im falling down.

We can cry our sorrow to the broken sea.
If there's no tomorrow it should be you and me.
You can walk on water but you Wish to Fly;
Purge my soul and my wings and there's Magic in the Sky.

The Song of the Siren has taken me away;
stranded on this island with not a Word to say.
Built a Boat for you dear but now its Broke and Gone.
All i need is you here so we can Swim to the Sun.

My Intensity

Your Flowing presence is drowning me tonight;
All i asked for it never has sufficed.
And now its raining kisses from the sky,
I'm not complaining but all i ask is why;

Oh My God I've Lost All Faith Cuz I Was Touched By Your Sweet Angel.
Oh My God I Passed Your Angel And We Touched By Mistake.
Touch by your Radiant Hand.
It Takes me and Breaks me like sand.

All I know is lightning struck the sky to show,
the impossibility to make you feel this Intensity.

Savithri

Your gentle ways, this endless gaze is eating me through your EyEs..
The Angels lay the light of days eagerly on your FaCe..

Awestruck in wonder
By the Sound of Thunder,
Waiting for me to tuck you in at Night..

Your Mental ways an endless gaze has frozen this molten time..

All of your violence
is revealed in your silence,
How can you be so Viciously Polite?

Desolate Memory

A memory of falling drops of the rain could almost soothe my pain. Lost but yet so Sane.
The lonely nights seemed to shine so bright, without the sounds or fights. The stars have shed their light.

Things are falling apart from my heart, it all just seemed like a start.
Time wouldn't let me stay in those days slowly slipping away.

The gentle cold made me feel so bold but now I'm growing old.
Dust what then was gold.

Things have fallen apart from my heart it all just seemed like a start.
Time wouldn't let me stay in those days slowly slipping away.

Silent Night, Stirring Night. All is Wrong. All is Right.

The fact is I'm a shameless idiot. Though I call shamelessness being humble, and I don't expect an approval. But how often would you see a guy sitting on a hectic pavement when its raining? No one saw me cry, another pointless and silent victory. Would you know?

The fact is I didn't want to impose my presence on you. As a child I always thought the butterfly's wings would smudge and tear if I caught it in motion. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction was Newtons Third Law though, and Apples blush sweetly.

I think, I think, I think I cant sleep. The Thoughts just seep so deep. So Steep it Leaps. You Creep In my head.
Then I sink into my bed and i drift carefree for a moment in the ocean. I hear emptiness, subtle emptiness. The Dark Clearness of the Water exists with me alone. The subtlety of the silence rises in a flowing pitch to a single resonant orgasmic note! it sinks and i bask trying to comprehend the strange absolution I felt presently with the intensity of what passes.
And then
She Sings...
Overwhelmed I hesitate and remember to breathe.

The Bed is stubborn and solid. She stole yet another night, how do i fight what is right? Give me your sight and i will sing with you. I wish to sleep with absolution and belong. The Sunrise had stolen me in Disguise though the nights are all I Remember.

THedonist Cacophony

Clouds shroud and Cycles crowd like a halo above me, needing constant attention like a child with a brand shiny toy, but then again its all above my head. I cant bare the trivial-but-of-importance race of thoughts i've been fed with all my life, I Need More! (To be blunt) Don't even think of selfishness you hypocrite! This ain't no justification just the evident fact.

Consumed by the stagnant heaviness of the room i decide to shove open the drapes to get a glimpse of something that's outside! Something will inspire me soon i think reassured as i search as nothing has happened that has. I'm wrong. It has, just that it wont, sorry, hasn't lasted. 'The Muse' i think,
And then I see it, "It" makes the moment feel like a nostalgic dream. It is The Only Thing that has always been. Nothing.
The spinach tree with the bee hive, The spot black Swift car of my neighbour, The lane kids playing football, The vegetable peddler and All of "The's" have always reminded themselves to me but that is exactly "It"! This Something which is a part of The Everything which obviously can be An Anything being already known blooms Nothing. There It is again, the symphony of Clouds and Cycles!

Thus resorting to thrills, which is a silent and sought after hobby, is what anybody does. Different Thrills but the Same Aim. Exotic anything served with a sprinkle of drive quenchers is the soul of the masses. I am not afraid to admit this. It needn't be materialistic necessarily, Something that makes you look to morrow and life with gleeful gratitude is the crave. Love for some and forms of sexual expression for others, The example for something that is sylphic and blissfully manic, the former being more true to this statement than the latter which is your pick of ripe fruit buddy. Respectively.

I wash my face thoroughly with my eyes tight shut for a brief moment so i can picture someone else, i stay there in suspended animation and suddenly break the moment by opening my eyes! I see me, no one else.

You've felt the restlessness haven't you? The sickening feeling of worthlessness for at the exact same moment your nothing! Why? Cause you know what you are, there isn't anything more to you, so you search for The Wholesomeness, Completion, The Universe Outside!

AN ew Wa y- Pa ir so ft wo

A Butterfly keeps stealing nectar from a lonely flower.
A Stallion that strides with certainty to fight the chasing hour.
The Greenest Ocean. The Drifting Sky.
The Brightest Sun and Moon.
All these wonders swim through space and time in pairs of two.

A New Way to say, what keeps creeping in my mind.
But the new gives a--->way to leave all your shackles far behind.

Natal Wishes

This is no attempt at materialism, thats clarified.
I crave for somethings not to hide.
Living raindrops from the sky, people to pretend like they cry.
Perhaps some guidance from a fly? but why? Sigh...
For restless nights and Days of Fun the Moon left the stars as a rose for the Sun.

The Portrait of a Naked Girl

She laid there naked. On the floor between the couch and the table on which a vase of red roses faced away from her, with her legs sticking to each other like that of a mermaid's sea green scaled tail. Her head resting on the clear and ripe white skin of her hands which touched each other like a prayer was to be done, over the couch. Her eyes filled with an innocence, a compulsion for love, the need and obsession for a strange sensitive but bold man. Her eyebrows showing fatigue, sadness and loss. Her lips still, lush and vulnerable, showing no emotion, making the thought of its movement towards happiness or sadness so beautiful and desirable. Her hair was a colour of brown brushed and caressed over with black.

There was a window on the wall that the couch rested its back on, from which came a moist dark light, producing a thought of dusk with gentle rains outside. I walked closer towards her over the cold tiled floor with belief enough as her faith in me. Although i was aware of the stagnant surrounding which made it so surreal, her face was the only portrait that was visible in the ethereal comfort. She made me forget all my worries, sorrows and thoughts, her being the only object of destiny in a world where she was the only one that was taught, known and perceived. Being just a heartbeat away I slowly and intimately reached towards her face and gently brushed her blushing cheek which

seemed so shy and yet giving the hand that reached her all the devotion she had. Her hair gave off a wet, filling and over-whelming scent.
Brushing her soft cheek with my thumb, I wanted to know her sorrow, her loss and all that would make me surrender myself and fall in love with her even more than that I knew of. Her eyes then gave bloom to a small, silent and stable tear which was but as unpredictable as my self-control was.
I made an attempt to merge with her body and soul by crouching and resting on my thighs and looking into her eyes, like picking a particular flower within a group of flowers and shrubs in the carefree wild. Entering her through her light brown iris and getting lost in what I would have never understood and imagined otherwise.

Rainbringer

The prophesied sky begs to listen for a heart felt gesture.
The composed intimacy between the lover and his need turns mad gray.
A look upon the broken land spurred excitement for a freshbeginning, an obsession to pose as Jesus does, the fever of an uncommon orgasm.

The message sent from heaven was brilliant and strange, evoking touch, scent and a higher purpose of mind. Such vague a feeling should be experienced bare without shame or any emotion premeditated. Every breath taken was fumed with seduction, ease and a compulsion to take another.
Walking, cleansing, singing, dancing, amusing, losing, bleeding, swimming, trying, crying, dying, pretending in restless tears.